She wrote letters to a friend's older brother. Though Vincent was initially an ardent believer who often proselytised to the neighbourhood children, she became 'curious' in her adolescence. 'A girl's sexuality was so powerful,' says Vincent, 'any hint of it had to always be completely hidden.' These rules (and many more) were vital to maintaining a good reputation, an absolute necessity for landing a suitable husband. The community frowned on women singing or talking too loudly. Even wearing patterned tights or wide belts are banned as too provocative.īe seen and not heard. Wear shirts buttoned to her neck with sleeves covering her elbows and with skirts that fall below the knee. In order to reach these goals, according to Vincent, a girl must: Men had the ultimate authority in the home and in the community,' Vincent writes.Ī girl's two most important goals, she says, are to be modest and obedient. 'Women in my family were not allowed to attend college or become Jewish scholars. In her Yeshivish community, there was a strict segregation of the sexes. Her father, a rabbi at one of the largest synagogues in the state, devoted his life to bringing his congregation 'closer to God by urging them to leave their more modern ways and embrace God's true will: the Yeshivish lifestyle.' (Ultra-Orthodox Jews are divided into two groups, Hasidic and Yeshivish.) Vincent, now 31, was raised in Pittsburgh, the fifth of 11 children in a family devoted to the cloistered Yeshivish lifestyle. Raised in an ultra-Orthodox Jewish family in Pennsylvania, she had already acquired a list of transgressions - writing letters to a boy and expressing an interest in attending college - but the sweater was the final straw. Vincent was only 16 - but thanks to that too-tight sweater, she had to kiss her childhood goodbye. 'You think you're so grown-up? Let's see how grown-up you are.' You'll have to figure out how to get by on your own,' she continued.

'We give you chance after chance, and you keep on messing up and hurting people. 'Your behaviour has become unacceptable,' she said. She had heard about the sweater from Vincent's sister.

Though her elbows and collarbone were covered, it was fitted and it showed off her adolescent curves. She walked into the store and asked to try it on, she told the New York Post. THE day before Yom Kippur, while attending a seminary in Israel, Leah Vincent decided to go window shopping in Jerusalem.Īrmed with a month's allowance, she spotted a mannequin wearing a charcoal-grey sweater.

Cut me loose book